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Connecting Heaven and Earth
By Mindy Rubenstein
It’s that special time between darkness and daylight. My four children are still asleep, as I sit for a few quiet moments before the rush of the day.
There’s a sound. Like crickets, maybe, but I think it’s only in my mind. There’s almost a rhythm to it. I didn’t even know it was there until I quieted the thoughts. Paid attention to the thoughts as they scurried like cockroaches when you turn on the light.
I close my eyes and listen.
Was the ‘noise’ always there? Maybe it’s because I have a cold. I take a deep breath and hold it, then exhale. I focus on it and realize sound is heard by the ears and this isn’t in my ears, it’s somewhere else. But where?
If anyone reads this they’d get a limited glimpse of me. Until recently — until I learned to honor myself — I was busy all day working, then came home, cooked for my family, cleaned up, put my kids to bed, falling asleep along with them following a busyness that left me spiritually and physically depleted.
This stillness is a different me.
We think we know people by their words, by their faces and mannerisms, even their actions. I don’t yet know me, how can I know others?
And what is the noise? Maybe ‘noise’ is the wrong word.
Maybe it’s the lack of noise, lack of thought. Inner stillness. Outer stillness. I’m usually busy moving around in the mornings. Packing lunches. Doing. Thinking. Doing. Thinking.
I marked on my Google calendar to write at 6:30 am. I overslept this morning, then tried to find reasons not to do it. A few words, I told myself. Just put down a few words. You promised yourself. It’s even in your calendar.
So I’m sitting. Listening. Waiting.
I want to examine the inner workings of the Universe.
To connect my inner soul to that Awesomeness and write about it.
I capitalize certain letters to express the Power, the Awesomeness, the Glory that exists beyond… beyond what? The words themselves are insignificant, but what they represent, what they can represent, if we use them well…
There’s a bird chirping. Chirp. Chirp. It grabs my thoughts and I’m pulled away. An earthly sound pulling me back. Back from where?
Soon we’ll all be there. We are here now, in these bodies. The real ‘me’ is somewhere beyond, using this body as a way to interface with a material world that doesn’t really exist. That will be gone soon.
The real me is using this body to interface with others, through our bodies, but the real connection happens in an energy beyond, above.
I quickly look up the word ‘interface’ since I used it twice, and it says “a point where two systems or subjects meet and interact.”
Maybe that’s the Noise.
Like an antenna. Transmitting from Above.
I listen. I breath.
All the answers are there, in that Space. I glimpse it but don’t go.
These words are so clumsy, so limiting. How do you attach letters to the Infinite?
And that’s part of why I’m here. To connect Heaven and Earth, to teach about Heaven to Earth, through letters and words. They are gifted to me. I hope to use them well.
It’s quiet. Early morning. I think again of the Modeh Ani I mumbled without thinking as I awoke … thank you G-d for returning my soul to me, Your faith in me is great.